Midwest Crisis: Naomi Hattaway in Pompano Beach, Florida
“I craved autonomy and an opportunity to reinvent my version of impact in the world.”
Naomi is from Nebraska, but has moved multiple times. She was born in North Platte in 1976 and her family moved to Omaha in 1988. She first left Omaha in 2003, when she met her husband and they moved to Georgia. They have lived all over: Georgia; Ohio (twice); Virginia; Orlando, Florida; New Delhi, India; and Singapore.
Her husband’s career takes him all over, and in 2019, he moved to Pompano Beach, Florida. Naomi stayed in Omaha at that time with the kids, due to her work and their desire to stay at the same school for high school.
Naomi’s recent move out of Omaha was a “long time coming,” but once she made the decision publicly known in the spring of 2022, it was a fast timeline - they left in August of 2022. They moved their middle child to college in North Carolina at the same time. Since they move a lot, Naomi has the process “down to a science.” They quickly got the house ready for the real estate market, and everyone packed up.
Hannah: What made you want to move out of Nebraska to where you live now?
Naomi: It definitely was NOT the property taxes! 😆
Our youngest two children did not have an enjoyable experience at their school in Elkhorn, including some bullying and unchecked toxic behavior. When our middle child was a sophomore in high school, he made the decision to withdraw because of his experience, and finished his high school years at the University of Nebraska High School virtual program. Our daughter’s negative experiences started in middle school when Omaha was navigating the pandemic and the racial divide after George Floyd was murdered. When she entered high school, she experienced bullying and since the administration refused to take the situation seriously, I made the decision to move our family. As it turns out, the same students involved in bullying our daughter ended up continuing their toxic behavior and have been involved in some pretty serious situations impacting other young women.
While that was the primary reason we left Nebraska, I also needed space from my version of public life in Omaha, and my connection to various forms of advocacy and activism. I craved autonomy and an opportunity to reinvent my version of impact in the world.
I also needed a climate that would support the active effort of healing my leg from a motorized scooter accident that greatly impacted my ability to walk and enjoy life. Both where we lived in Omaha, and the climate of Nebraska were not conducive to active healing.
Hannah: What do you do for work/education where you live now?
Naomi: When leaving Nebraska, I continued my work with Front Porch Investments as a contractor, and also launched Leaving Well, a consultancy that supports individuals and organizations through workplace transitions. I also act as a consultant for various affordable housing projects and homelessness supportive nonprofit organizations.
Hannah: How has it been for you to build a community or support system?
Naomi: Since we moved to join my husband, we already had the house here. The adjustment to moving here was one of respite and ease, because our life in Omaha had become so strained due to the situation at my daughter’s school. It provided an opportunity for healing, as she decided to register for 100% online school, through the Florida Public School System.
Our life looks remarkably different here, after moving from Nebraska. I work 100% remotely (with some on-site time across the country with clients), and my daughter’s schooling is 100% remote. My husband shares his work time between Florida and Columbus, Ohio so while we are together more often than when we lived in Nebraska, it’s still a long-distance marriage.
I intentionally have not invested time into building community here locally. I am prioritizing my health and wellbeing, which takes up a lot of time (surprisingly!). The spare time that I have beyond my work obligations, and my own wellbeing and health, is devoted to family time, spending a lot of time exploring the outdoors and beach frequently.
I’ve discovered that I really like solitude, and very much enjoy the beauty of stillness, quiet, and doing things independently. I still connect frequently with my friends from Omaha, and often have “walk and talks” to catch up on their lives, or send audio text messages back and forth, but my current desire for new friendships or community has drastically changed and shifted since leaving Nebraska.
Hannah: When it comes to politics in your area, where is energy spent?
Naomi: Something extremely interesting to me is that nearly everyone I speak with, who knows the story of our move from Nebraska to Florida, makes a comment about the politics in Florida being “so much worse” than the political landscape in Nebraska. People frequently go one step further to express shock that I would move to Florida because of the politics. I often respond that they must not be paying close enough attention to what is happening in Nebraska, if they think that Nebraska is immune from inhumane policies and elected officials who actively work against the human rights of Nebraskans.
Hannah: Before you moved from Omaha, you ran for City Council. How did the experiences you had during your campaign factor into your decision to move?
Naomi: What an incredible experience it was to run for City Council! I wrote an article about it that may be helpful for your readers, and this article has lots of the info I would otherwise share here: https://www.naomihattaway.com/blog/lessons-from-a-city-council-candidate.
Hannah: What has it been like to adjust to the city you moved to?
Naomi: Oh my goodness! We are close to Fort Lauderdale and Miami, in South Florida and the culture is remarkably different from Nebraska Nice!! Driving and traffic, as one example, is bonkers! It’s like NYC meets New Delhi meets Indy 500! What’s strange is that as aggressive as the traffic is here, folks are still generally very passive in their roadway interactions and we rarely see accidents (which seems strange, considering the high rates of speed, frequent lane changes, and banana-driving habits!).
It also takes forever to get somewhere, and we joke that everything is at least a 20 minute drive, even if you’re only going a few miles down the road for errands.
We live in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, and it is also filled with a large number of snowbirds (folks that do not live here year-round, but instead go “north” for the summers, when it gets brutally hot here).
This location is very transient, and while I don’t engage with a community in the same way I did in Omaha, I can say that I’ve never been asked what high school I went to! [Note from Hannah for anyone reading not from Omaha – this is a question frequently asked within the first few minutes of meeting someone here.]
Hannah: Some people feel twinges of guilt around their choices to move, either with balancing leaving people “behind” in Nebraska or for other reasons. Have you ever felt this tug, and if so, what would you like to share about that?
Naomi: I have been arriving, leaving, arriving, leaving for the better part of my adult life. There is something powerful about relationships that can stand the test of distance and miles between, and I look for that reality to be present in my friendships. Once I've made up my mind to leave, and move from a place, it can feel pretty abrupt, however there has always been a long and thoughtful decision-making process that came before that. That process includes lots of pros and cons lists, navigating priorities and values, etc. We each know what is best for us - when we are still and quiet enough to listen - and while grief and loss is part of any separation or leaving process, knowing that will come shouldn't be the reason you decide to stay.
Hannah: Did you find what you were looking for in your move?
Naomi: I love being close to the ocean (we are a 20 minute drive away)! It’s also really amazing to be constantly surrounded by folks that speak different languages, and are from different cultures and ethnicities.
I also appreciate the climate, and while it’s so incredibly hot in the late spring to late fall, I have been able to restore my health-centric habits, including walking daily (I typically walk between 3-5 miles every day) and lots of time in the water.
Hannah: Since your move, your Leaving Well work has grown - you’ve started a podcast and released a book in 2023. I think this work goes with the conversation about people moving out of the Midwest. What would you like to share about your Leaving Well work?
Naomi: Leaving Well is the art and practice of navigating workplace transitions with intention and purpose, and when possible: joy. People leave. It’s a known fact, but yet very few organizations prioritize the very normal and commonplace reality by focusing on how to make those transitions easier to handle.
A big part of Leaving Well (that applies to a move, a job change, a relationship shift, etc.) is that you must properly say goodbye to the thing you are leaving, so that you can enter the next thing / gig / place with intention. It is just as important to leave a place or job that you are disillusioned with, or in a situation where there is some toxicity, with intention and purpose, so you can seek out and remember the joy that the place offered you.
Some practical tips include saying goodbye to your favorite places (for example, your favorite library branch, restaurant, park bench, etc.), as well as being really thoughtful about how you want to say goodbye to your close friends (goodbye gatherings can be as big or as small (or nonexistent) as you need them to be).
It’s also important to decide how you want to spend your last days in a place / at a job. Do you want a big fanfare, or a quiet departure? These things matter quite a bit!
Naomi’s podcast, book, and consulting can be found on her website: naomihattaway.com!
Midwest Crisis is a new project from Hannah Michelle Bussa. People are leaving the state of Nebraska, but research on the topic is limited. Join Hannah as she interviews individuals with various perspectives on their choices - to move and to stay - each week this spring.
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Thank you for sharing my story, Hannah!